Half Way

"Half way there". This is something I'm used to saying in just about all of my races. 5k's "half way there" meant push through that burning sensation in my lungs, move my arms just a little faster to get the legs going just a little faster, don't get passed by anyone yet pass that person 20 yards ahead, then the one 20 yards ahead of them. Longer races like 10k's and 1/2 marathon's "half way there" meant check my watch for my time. Am I on schedule? Whether the answer is yes or no, the result was to pick it up just a little bit more. For my marathon "half way there" meant the excitement and adrenaline of the first half had slowed down a bit and I was just hoping I had enough in me to take me to the end. In fact, I didn't really want to focus on half way there because I was only.. "half way" there. I just wanted to see that finish line.

With all the running and racing events I've done in the last few years, everything becomes about training. So why would pregnancy be any different to me?! So for the past 4.5 months, I've been training. For the next 4.5 months I'll be training. Training for my health and yes, self esteem (as I see the scale climbing higher and higher and those clothes feeling quite snug), and training myself for that day the baby decides to come. Natural birth maybe? But most importantly, I'd like to think I am training for the baby. Training for the baby's health and well being now and after he or she is born. A part of me is also hoping it will inherit some of those self disciplined traits as he or she gets older. Parenting can't start too early!

Half way there this time around is marathon mentality. Excited to be through the first half and all the excitement that was building up during that time. I know I still have a long way to go, especially in the Arizona summer heat, but I am totally looking forward to that finish line. The built up emotions you experience during the long and hard training season finally come out knowing you accomplished something beyond your craziest dreams. Being half way there only means the best is yet to come.

The power of prayer

I'd consider myself pretty religious. I actually love discussing religion and why people think they way they do which surprises me because I avoid all debates about anything. I especially hate political "discussions" and purposely walk away when Casey gets into it with his dad. But there is just something so powerful in having deep discussions about why we're here on earth, how'd we get here, what is the purpose of our lives, why we are the way we are, and what does the future hold, even after death.

I was born and raised a Lutheran. Church was always a big part of growing up. We attended Sunday school, participated in confirmation, and our family always assisted with church services. My parents continue to be involved to this day. Some of my favorite memories of growing up were church services when I would play the piano. I felt like a performer. That's what I thought was the purpose of my life. I even made a cd with a member of the band who had a studio in his basement. I remember being really little and waking up to my dad watching CNN while ironing his church clothes. I'd eat some cereal, get dressed in my best Sunday clothes, then we'd head off to church as a family where we knew everyone. Even in high school when my parents gave us the option to go or not, I always went. Maybe it was the free donut I got afterwards that enticed me! But needless to say, I always felt better about whatever was going on in my life after an hour spent on a Sunday morning at church.

Out of a family of 4 siblings, I'd say I'm the "most religious" one. And with that, I think they'd all agree that I've had it.. the "easiest" in life. Their excuse is because I am the youngest so life had to have been easier for me. Although some of that may be true (I learned from their mistakes!), I am still a human being and life still has its ups and downs. Even if I am the youngest, I am still prone to the hurt and disappointment life brings. But the defining difference between my "easy" life and that of someone else who's been dealt "harder" cards lies in the power of prayer.

I've definitely been through hard times with family, relationships, personal issues, my career.. I've been disappointed by people and I've been hurt by people just like most I know. But without God's help and guidance in life, I would be just as lost as the rest of them. I could easily shut people out of my life for things they've done. I could wake up every day hating the way my life turned out. I could walk around with a chip on my shoulder for something someone did one day a long time ago. But God's taught me to be better than that and I thank him every day for my happiness, health, and safety.

Now I'm not the "preachy" type by any means. If someone asks me and wants to learn more, I love it. For those that aren't comfortable with talking about religion, so be it. I hope I live a Christian life loud enough for anyone who knows me a little, understands. I hope that people see how happy I am in life and can see my positive outlook and views on not-so-pleasant situations to know that they too, can have an amazing life. Only God truly knows the kind of relationship I have with him and only God, not even Church, can affect my attitude in life day after day. But that's the best part. No one needs to know what I talk to him about and therefore no one can judge me or my relationship with him.

I have been so extremely blessed in life that I only have God to thank. I thank God for my parents for raising me the way they did. I thank him for my sisters and brother who are who they are and without any of them, my family would not be complete. I thank him for the people he brings in to my life who I call my friends. They are there to leave lasting footprints in my life to better it some way or another. And I thank him for my husband. I truly believe that with God at the center of our relationship, we will be this happy and content for the rest of our lives. I couldn't ask for a better life.

I hope to raise a family with strong morals and values just as we were raised. I pray for it every night and believe with all my heart that we will do the best we possibly can.

I don't trust alcohol

I was never a party girl. Maybe for the summer of my 21st did I even drink more than 1 day a week, but getting wasted, even occasionally, isn't quite my thing.. at all. I may have had a sip of wine in a park once when I was in high school, but my focus was on school and sports and so I didn't even have the time to think about going to a party on the weekends when someones parents were out of town. I'd even say going to college was at times an internal battle. As a freshman, all the girls were going to frat houses or house parties on the weekends. I joined in to make a few friends and meet people, but it never felt right to me to drink heavily and pass out weekend after weekend.

Joining rugby helped me in the "meeting people" department and it probably wasn't until my sophomore year that I even felt comfortable drinking with a group of people. I think it's because I trusted those people. Whether it was having a bunch of rugby people over at our house for a last minute party, or spending the night at Caseys after a night of drinking with him and the roommates. I'd consider those my "party days". Drinking was a part of rugby and I was ok with that because winning games and going to nationals was more important (at least to most) than that. Friday nights before a home game were usually team bonding nights inclusive of massive amounts of spaghetti and getting excited for our game. After all, "SATURDAYS A RUGBY DAY!"

Since graduating college 5 years ago, I could probably count on one hand the number of nights I went out and actually got drunk. My focus went from school and rugby to being successful at work and training for whatever adventurous race I could get myself into. I still continuously struggle with balancing my life with the life of what seems like everyone else in this world is in. It seems like no matter where you go or what you do, beer and alcohol is always a part of it. As naive as it may seem, I still find it weird that runners get a free beer after the PF Changs Marathon and half marathon.

I think alcohol makes people, or allows people, to think they are invincible and any thing they do can't come back to hurt them or anyone else. Half the time they don't even remember so why should it matter? But the fact is the hurt happens more often than I'd care to know and probably hurts deeper than anyone intends and it never really goes away, even with time. Most of the time it's a selfish act but selfishness affects far more people than they realize.

Now don't get me wrong, I love to go out for a beer or two and I definitely love to try out new micro-brewerys or try beers when we travel, but it frustrates me to go beyond that. And yes, it bothers me alot to be around people that drink to the extreme and lose control of all thoughts and actions. Even the thought of that scares me. And maybe it is frustrating to me because I know these people and I know they have far more potential than they realize and Gods plan didn't involve a substance controlling ones life and affecting so many more. Maybe it is just for one night, but that one night could turn into the rest of your life. Heavy stuff. I know.

Bottom line is I guess I just don't understand it. Whether it's addiction or just for fun on the weekends, I have far better things to do with my life.

So call me lame and anti-social, but I bet I've experienced more in my 26 years traveling abroad and pushing my physical and mental limits than any avid party-goer out there.